


Cycles

by generictripe



Series: Cycles ( Fairy Tail Reincarnation AU ) [1]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Chance Meetings, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Meta, Reincarnation, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-21 13:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6053686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generictripe/pseuds/generictripe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>For the first time in either lifetime, Gray was the one who chased Juvia.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

The train stopped in front of him, screeching to a halt with brakes that needed some serious T.L.C. The subway station was mostly empty, devoid of the usual crowds. A lone man moved forward to get on the train.  


He had a mess of starkly black hair, a lean build and a incredibly bored expression on his face.  


His name was once Gray Fullbuster and he was stuck in a loop with no escape.  


Life was a constant circle. Living. Breathing. Eating. Sleeping. Gray’s life had become a monotonous cycle of chores and have-tos. Everything seemed to blur together into one big monochrome mess.  


Somehow along the way Gray Fullbuster had cheated death. More importantly, his _soul_ had.  


There was a theory that when a soul was reincarnated all memories and feelings were wiped from it, slate clean and ready to be reborn. But he had memories and a lot of them. He remembered the cold burn of ice magic coursing through his body. He remembered the feeling of deep companionship, unwavering and constant. He remembered the harsh reality of war and the happiness of victory. He remembered her.  


Gray Fullbuster just wished for the remembering to stop.  


The train halted like it took everything it had. As he walked out of the subway door, the poster on the wall to his right caught his eye. It was his face that stared back at him. Well it was who he used to be. The poster was for a popular animated series. An animated series that Gray Fullbuster happened to have memories of being a part of.  


Gray adverted his eyes, tearing his gaze from the poster.  


He had almost not noticed the woman who had come to a stop next to him until he turned to walk away and she was in his path. She was on the short side, with a chubby build. Her large eyes were watery and sad as she looked at him. She looked like she wanted to say something as she clutched her pretty pink umbrella.  


Gray opened his mouth to retort ,but the words never came.  


This was…  


When he saw her for the first time in this lifetime, her hair was short and tapered just above her shoulders It was still a shocking blue, like the color of the sea, but near the top he caught sight of dark roots showing through. When he first saw her, her sad face broke into a smile. When he first saw her,only her name came to mind.  


_Juvia_.  


“Ju-I think you look familiar,” she mumbled, tilting her head to one side, “Do you go to the university?”  


“Only on the weekends,” he answered, like he was talking through water. The world was spinning and tilting on him. The only anchor he had was the sudden hope in his chest and those blue blue eyes.  


_Is it her? Could it be..?”_  


She frowned deeply. As if a million miles away, she glanced from the poster in front of them to his face.  


“Perhaps…,” she began, trailing off. “What is your name, may I ask?”  


Gray glanced up at that poster, a sideways grin plastered on his face. “You can call me Gray.”  


She broke out into a bright smile, like the sun from behind clouds. “Then you can call me Juvia.”

The first time they met after that night was by chance. Or so it seemed. She was waiting under the poster. Her pink umbrella was hanging off one wrist, closed and dripping from the downpour that had graced the city that day. Her cute pudgy form was covered in a navy-blue tailored jacket to keep the crisp fall wind out. On top of the wavy hair was a knitted hat.  


Gray’s heart nearly stopped as he approached. She even dressed sort of like the real Juvia? What if-  


She looked up as he came by. “Gray-sama!” She said in his name in that singsong way and punctuated it with that nostalgic honorific.  


“No,” he said, suddenly. The honorific, said with such endearment shot a pain through his head.  


_Not. In this lifetime. Please no. Not that nickname._  


“Just call me Gray.” He shot her a sideways grin as an apology, pleased when it melted the hurt look on her face.  


That night they strolled around the city, not really going anywhere and not really having a goal. The rain from earlier was just a memory. Puddles and a clear starry sky is all that remained.  


Finally, the pair came to a halt at a bench. Neither of them sat down for a moment. Their time walking had been completely silent, save for the few times they had spoken to point out something interesting like a pretty star or a nice restaurant.  


“The bench is damp,” Juvia whined, wrinkling her nose.  


Gray raised an eyebrow at her. “Afraid of a little water?” He was amused at the puffed up angry face she made as he said that. It was cute. She was cute. He wondered vaguely as he sat down on the bend and she joined him reluctantly if maybe this lifetime was his second chance. This girl was not really his Juvia ,but maybe she will fill the gap the guild left in his life.  


_Maybe…_

The fifth time the mismatched pair met they decided to indulge. As soon as they met, realizing neither of them owned copies of the animated show that their ‘nick’names derived from. Gray insisted this had to be remedied. Juvia insisted she wanted something to nibble on while they watched.  


“We can buy the first four seasons if we put back the snacks,” Gray offered, holding up a stack of DVD.  


Juvia brought the basket full of junk food closer to her chest. “ Juv- _I_ think we will be fine for tonight with just the first three.”  


However as they left the video store at one in the morning, Juvia went pale. Realizing she had a test the next morning, she fled while throwing rushed goodbyes at Gray.  


He was halfway home before he realizes then bag he is carrying contains snacks instead of DVDs.

It takes three weeks before Juvia lapses back into her old habits and he curses her the whole time. The pair had started meeting regularly at the subway station. It was the same time every night. After the daytime commuters had already boarded and were long home and the sun gave away to the moon, the pair had the station to themselves.  


They learned much about each other.  


He was an aspiring engineer working as a temporary forklift driver at a warehouse to pay for his tuition. His parents were both dead from a tragic car accident. He had no pets. He loved snowboarding and sculpting.  


She was an English student whose parents were from Russia though she had never visited the country. She wanted to be a writer, but would settle for teaching. She lived in a cheap studio apartment and didn’t have a couch yet since she just moved in.  


“Graaay,”she sang, running up to him. Her boot were a familiar click now on the floor as she came to a stop in front of the poster their (maybe) past selves were on.  


“Hey Juvia,” he smiled that crooked grin. A stab went through her heart. She had seen that smile before. It seemed as familiar as a friend’s face. Maybe it was even as familiar as a family she never had.  


“Juvia hopes that works went well for Gray,” she said in a voice like wind chimes. There was another old habit that seemed hard to swallow when she was around him. Or so it seemed to him. Was she mocking him? Did she know he could see another blue-haired girl looking at him when she gazed at him?  


“It was fine.” He waved a dismissive hand. Juvia knew that factory work was monotonous, especially on the second shift. He had told her at length the details of his duties and could see disinterest threatening to creep in. He wondered if she enjoyed her job any better than she did her job. Waitressing took a lot out of her, on top of college classes. Often when they would meet up, Juvia would look as if she was running on empty. It didn’t help he guessed that she would always meet him so late at night. “How were classes?”  


“They were nice! Juvia got a B on her English Comp. paper.” They ascended the stairs out of the drab subway tunnel and into the crisp night air. Juvia’s ever present umbrella clicked against her as she walked. The city was mostly quiet. A stray honk or shout echoed every now and then as they walked down the sidewalk.  


Only a block or so from the subway there was a little diner. It was open late into the night, tending to the night owls that prowled the nighttime streets.  
Juvia and Gray were two of said night owls.  
With a ding of a bell, the pair entered the restaurant, sitting at their regular booth. The night ahead of them seemed to pass at the blink of an eye. Food, coffee, and laughs were exchanged over the table. It felt nostalgic to Juvia as she smiled at him. It almost was like a memory of a memory. Like a story she had heard as a child.  


_Maybe it is like how Juvia remembers the guild._  


“Hey Juvia.”  


Gray’s voice broke her reverie. She met his eyes, blinking.  


“Are you zoning out?”  


Her cheeks grew hot. “No! Juvia means-“  


“I was asking,” he continued as if he had not heard her, “If you had ever though that Fairy Tail , if it was _real_ would be a nice place? Seems like of cool to have a close-knit family like that.”  


_Real_.  


“Juvia thinks if it was _real_ Fairy Tail would be the best place to be in the whole wide world.” She twirled a strand of wavy hair around her finger as she spoke.  


“I wish..” he trailed off. What did he want? Did he want to go back to Fairy Tail? Or did he just want his guildmates in this life?  


Did he want this blue-haired woman to be his Juvia, instead of the girl he spent his night with often?  


Could he have both?  


Did he deserve it?  


“Can Juvia ask you something, Gray?”  


Gray nodded, muted by the serious look on her round face.  


“Do you believe in reincarnation?”  


Was that some sort of trick question? Gray’s voice died in his throat like a flower in the snow.  


“Juvia has dreams,” she lowered her voice, eyes now pointed down at the table. “Sometimes it is dreams about rain. Or snow. Or people Juvia should know but has never met.”  


She flickered her sea blue eyes up to meet his. There was a fierceness in then that sent a shiver down his spine. He was forcibly reminded of hot water, blue curls under a fur-trimmed hat and the sun coming out from behind thick clouds.  


“Isn’t that how dreams are,” he blurted out.  


“Perhaps…” Juvia shifted her gaze to the diner window. The city outside was blurred with a sudden downpour, black with shining lights. A blanket made of rain had covered the city in it’s shroud. Thankfully they were warm and toasty in the restaurant with steaming cups of coffee in front of them. But looking out that window, a look of deep despair on her pale face, Gray was struck with how beautiful she looked. Her skin was pale and flawless. Her eyes were chips of glacier ice  


“But what if the dreams are not just dreams,”she asked, tearing her eyes from the rain. A deep pleading look shown in her eyes, though what she was begging for he did not know.  


“Do you believe that,”he whispered, not realizing his voice had become so hushed in the empty diner.  


“Of course.” She spoke with a sad finality, sliding out from the booth. “Juvia really does need to go now,though. There is an important quiz worth much of Juvia’s grade. Thank you Gray-sama.”  


For the first time in this lifetime, Gray watched Juvia walk away in the rain.  


For the first time in two lifetimes he realized he loved her.  


For the first time in either lifetime, Gray was the one who chased Juvia.  


“Juvia!” He hit the slick pavement like a bull in a china shop, almost face-planting into the ground if he had not been swift enough to catch himself with his hands.  


“Is Gray okay?” Juvia rushed forward, wrapping her hands around one of his arms to him to his feet.  


He wobbled a bit, the fall jolted his resolve. But now that he was staring down at that pair of wide eyes, an easy smile split on his face.  


“So. Do you want to watch those Fairy Tail episodes tonight?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It took approximately forty-six hours before Gray started missing Juvia and their rendezvous._

Gray thought in those first few moments as they crossed the threshold of Juvia’s apartment that maybe he was a smart man after all. He was not sure why she had so readily agreed to let a strange man in her apartment. Or why she had looked so happy to walk into the room with him, a bright grin on her face even though he was dripping all over her hardwood floors.

“Juvia hopes that Gray will make himself at home,” she chirped, as she threw off her jacket and boots.

Home was a good word to describe the room. The apartment was a tiny studio with high ceilings. In the main part of the room was a little television with a game system hooked up to it. A bedroll was in front of the T.V., along with a few cans. Boxes, still unpacked littered most corners. It looked like they contained most of her belongings, except for a few plants that sat on the windowsill in colorful pots and a framed photograph of Juvia posing with a muscular dark-haired man and a familiar blond.

“Did you just move in,” Gray asked, glancing around the room. Through unfinished it was decidedly very _Juvia > _

She nodded, pulling some cushions from an open box. “Juvia moved here last week. Juvia’s parents are still trying to find some furniture.“ With an unceremonious flourish, she threw them on the ground along with a blanket and a few pillows. “Gray and Juvia can watch the series here.”

“What,” he sputtered. “In a pile of blankets? What if people get the wrong idea?” A deep blush reddened his cheeks and he wished that Juvia would not look at him with those keen but gentle eyes. 

“Gray. There is no one here.”

She _was_ right. Gray adverted his eyes from her and that damn love nest she was making. 

“But,” Juvia continued, “if Gray is unconformable, Juvia will make separate places to sit.”

“That’s not-“ When he glanced at her. She did not look upset at his attitude. In fact, Juvia’s sunny smile never once faltered. “It’s fine. I don’t want you to go to too much trouble.” 

“If Gray is sure.” 

Juvia thankfully turned her back to him as the bustled around in the tiny kitchen. As she looked around in the fridge for what Gray assumed was snacks, the framed picture on the wall caught his eye.

It seemed to be a selfie taken by the blue-haired woman herself. The blond was smiling, obviously in on the photo and throwing a peace sign. Behind then, the dark-haired man was holding up a sign of his own but his took less fingers and was more vulgar.

The blond was so familiar it hurt, like a sudden punch to his gut. He had seen her face in a nightmare, though it was different. It was a little less round and her eyes were brown instead of the sea-green of the photo. In the nightmare she wore a set of sparkling keys on her hip and a tattoo on her hand.

_Lucy._

Before he could get a good look at the man in the photo, Juvia flitted like a butterfly into his vision. In her arms was a tray of cookies, distinctly in the shape of his animated counterpart’s head. 

“Oh. Gray-sa- _Gray_ was looking at Juvia’s favorite photo! Does he like it?”

“Is that your girlfriend,” he asked, taking a cookie from the plate. “Juvia it’s nice you have snacks but do they have to be in the shape of my face?”

“Yes,”she chimed, sitting the tray on the floor and plopping down onto the blankets herself. She produced a bottle of what was obviously wine from what seemed like thin air.“And Lucy and Gajeel are just Juvia’s friends.”

_Gajeel?_

Another glance up at the photo and Gray decided that ‘Gajeel’ was a fitting nickname for the man. “Do you always give your friends Fairy Tail nicknames?”

“Only when it fits.” Juvia cracked open the first DVD case, slipping the disc into the game system as it booted up.

They two settled down into a rhythm that felt more natural than Gray cared to admit. They got closer and closer , piled on top of the cushions. The tray of cookies and the drinks Juvia had decided they needed slowly was consumed.

The more wine Gray drank, the harder he found it tough to focus. In fact, his eyes kept on wandered from the television. As the action happened on the screen, Gray found himself watching her more than the animation. 

She was watching the T.V. silently. Her lips were slightly parted in delight, one finger twirling a strand of her hair. Gray swallowed the affection threatening to build in his throat. 

_Not his Juvia. Surely not._

It felt like a betrayal to get close to this sweet girl. Though she reminded him fiercely of the Juvia from a lifetime ago, she could not be the same. It was not possible. This was his punishment for letting her die. He was to be alone, with only his vague memories and nightmares to keep him company. His personal hell.

He did not realize they had been touching until her head fell limp against his shoulder. A light snore announced that little Miss Juvia had been defeated by the enemy known as wine. For a moment, Gray considered moving her away from him. However, the wine in his vein and the warmth of her body against his muddled his brain. Before he could do much thinking, he was asleep, an arm protectively around Juvia.

_This time he did not see the previous battle. Gray seemed to open his eyes right to the moment Juvia fell._

He rushed forward, demon slayer magic burning his skin black as he caught her. She felt lighter in his arms, like she was made of paper and tape. Though the blood flowing from the wound in her stomach was very real. She was a paper doll, and the attack had ripped her in half.

“Juvia,” he whispered her name, barely heard over the sounds of magic and fighting. Around him, his comrades were dying and he seemed powerless to do a thing. 

She smiled at him, wincing in pain as he bought her closer. “Gray-sama. Juvia is glad she could save you.”

“You damn idiot,” he snapped, “Please don’t die. Please..” There was so much blood. In was on this clothes, his hands. It covered her and sullied and perfect skin.

“It’s okay,” she said, voice weak, “Juvia think she will see you again.”

_No_

She went limp in his arms, a beautiful smile frozen on her face. If it was not for the blood and open wound, she could have been sleeping.

“No,” he whispered, hugging her lifeless body close to his chest. Her hair still smelled just like her. Her skin was still warm. She could have been alive, if she was breathing. “No! I never-“ 

He never got to give her his answer.

Gray Fullbuster woke with a cry in a strange room. As soon as he sat up, he wanted to crash back down as a headache stabbed his head clean through. The taste of chocolate chip cookies and wine was fresh on his tongue as he pressed his forehead to hand. 

What a night. Juvia sure was fun to spend time with. 

_Wait…Juvia-_

“Gray?” Juvia popped her blue head from around the side of the refrigerator, hair still tousled from sleep. “Juvia heard yelling! Is everything okay?” 

“Just a bad dream,”he muttered, wobbling over to join her in the kitchen. She was already changed, dressed in simple black leggings and an oversized sweater. It was strange, seeing Juvia in her kitchen clad in lazy clothes and fuzzy slippers. 

His heart jolted at the sight, tears pricking at his eyes. Damn it. The dream must have been still effecting him. Yeah. That’s it…

“Juvia made breakfast,” she gestured at the pancakes sitting on a pretty red china plate on the counter. He had not noticed them until then, and wished he had not. The sight of food made his stomach lurch unpleasantly. Maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the dream, but food seemed unappealing to him. 

But looking down at Juvia’s eager face, it hurt when he had to open his mouth. “I don’t think I feel like-“ He did not finish his sentence before Juvia had her arms around his waist using her tiny body to steady him. 

“Gray-sama,”she squeaked,letting the honorific drop in her surprise. “Gray-sama, you are very wobbly. Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” he waved his hand, attempting to save face by stabilizing himself. Though as he did, he became hyper aware of Juvia’s arms around his waist and the concern in her deep blue eyes. “Wh-whoa.” 

“Gray!” Juvia caught him solidly this time, lowering him to the ground until her was sitting. “You should be laying down. Juvia will take care of you and feed you and get your coursework and call a doctor and-“

“Juvia,” he pleaded, the headache pounding harder and harder with each of her frantic words. 

She clammed up instantly, watching him expectantly. 

“I need to get home.” 

“But Gray, if you go home who will care for you?” 

“I’ll take care of myself,” Gray answered with rock solid finality. Or as much as he could with his head between his knees. 

Though Juvia eventually backed down, she did not let him go alone. In fact, though the rain was pouring down she insisted walking him home. She said it was so she would know he made it home safe. Gray suspected she just wanted to fuss over him. 

_Juvia coddling me? What else is new..?_

She followed him into his apartment, as he stumbled in. Finally, Gray collapsed on his sofa thankful to be vertical. Public transit was always nerve-wracking. When you could hardly walk it was unbearable. 

Juvia’s delicate hand ran once over his hair, before throwing the blanket he had had crumpled on the floor, over his body. She was silent, except for her hushed humming. Methodically and quietly, Juvia walked out of the living room and into his modest kitchen. 

Gray closed his eyes. Darkness cradled him as the sounds of Juvia bustling around in the other room echoed in the apartment. He peeked when he heard her come back in the room. 

“You had no clean glasses, Gray-sama,” she placed a cup of water and two pills next to his head. “Juvia had to wash one.” 

“I thought I told you not to call me that.” 

“Oh,” Juvia exclaimed, clapping a hand over her mouth, “Juvia is sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” he rolled over, pressing his face into the soft fabric of the couch. “Thank you.” 

The time that Gray did not spend sleeping was spent with thoughts of her face as she had left his apartment. Juvia had seemed so cheerful, even though she was disappointed she could not baby him. She was so caring, treating him like that even though they don’t even know each other’s real names. Why..? 

It took approximately forty-six hours before Gray started missing Juvia and their rendezvous. It was twelve more after that that Gray finally rolled off of the couch and surprisingly did not feel like death incarnate. It was an hour after that, that he once again met Juvia under their poster. 

“Gray! Gray looks so much better!” She looked absolutely radiate in a light blue sweater dress and leggings, a lighter outfit for the warmer weather. But of course, she held her umbrella. 

“Juvia,” he said, voice scratchy from disuse. “Can I confess something?” 

“Yes. Of course.” She beamed at him and Gray felt a dizziness that had nothing to do with his sickness. “But first Juvia has something to ask.” 

“O-Okay.” 

“What is your _real_ name?” 

_Real._

The word had been like poison in his mouth and mind lately. 

What was real? 

Who was he really

? Who is Gray Fullbuster?

Real or fiction? 

Is his feelings for her based in reality or in a dream girl who died long ago?

“My name is Hitoshi Kato,” he said in a voice like he was being strangled.

“She took in a deep breath. “Juvia is not Ju- _My_ name. My name is Darya Vol-Volkov.” Her voice cracked and stumbled over the words, as if unused to the way they felt in her mouth.

They stood in silence for a moment, staring at each other. Then, like a spell had been broken, Juvia blinked her watery eyes, looking dangerously close to flooding the room with her tears.

“I think,” Gray said suddenly, stepping closer to her, “that the nicknames suit us better.”

Juvia smiled, her eyes still filled with tears. “J-Juvia agrees.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm very excited to write this fic. The update for this will be a bit sporadic,but it is my current main project.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the second chapter. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are most appreciated.
> 
>  
> 
> [Recommended listening.](http://8tracks.com/generictripe/my-only-sunshine)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Their ‘real’ names hung between them, unsaid but always present._

A silence like fog stretched across the pair, as thick as smoke and twice as choking. The apartment was quiet, the only sound the drizzle of the coffeepot in the kitchen. They had left the poster, heading back to Juvia’s apartment in search of some semblance of familiarity. Their ‘real’ names hung between them, unsaid but always present.

The words that Gray wanted to utter were stuck in his throat. 

_I might love you. I might want to see you more often. I might have horrific dreams about you._

Beside him, sitting on a cushion was the blue-haired object of his mixed feelings looking really cute in a pair of pajama pants. She blinked blearily, staring at her hands. 

“Gray?” 

She looked at him. The tears had long dried off her face, the tearful exchange a couple of hours previously. Her lips quivered slightly and Gray found himself staring at them for a moment too long. 

“Juvia wants you to meet someone important,” she said, standing and walking over to one of the many moving boxes. She rummaged through it for a moment, reaching her tiny arms deep into it and pulling out a stack of photographs. 

“This is Love Rival Lucy.” Though the words were harsh, the look on her face when she said the name was nothing but tender. She held up a photo of the blond from before in a bikini, being lifted out of a pool by a muscly brunette man. “Don’t stare too much Gray,” she snapped as he leaned forward to get a closer look. 

“Is that…?”

“That is Natsu,” she said as if no one else would wear flame-printed swim trunks like that. 

“His hair is..brown.” 

Juvia turned the photo to face herself, squinting at the tiny faces printed on it. “Oh yes. It is. Natsu does not dye it like Juvia. Lucy said he tried in high school and it turned out looking like sausages.” 

“That sounds like something the hot-head would do,” Gray laughed. 

She was not listening, not riffling through the photographs again. She pulled another one out, thrusting it in his hands. 

“Erza’s hair is right,” Juvia said, running a finger over the woman in the photograph he held. Though the red hair was more orange that he remembered, Erza looked almost exactly as Gray could recall. “Erza was at kendo tournament here. Her family lives in Japan. Lucy and Juvia took a trip to see her compete last summer. It was very nice.” 

“Her eyes are the same,” Gray murmured, “Scary as all Hell.” 

“Jellal moved there to be with her. They met through a blogging website. It was romantic,” Juvia sighed, eyes glazing over as many daydreams flitted through her head. 

“Seems a little lame actually.” 

“Shut up, Gray,” she said, her voice seeming to come from far away. Her fangers had halted on another photo, hesitating as if she was deciding whether or not to show it to Gray. Then Juvia thrust it forward, pointed towards Gray. 

“This…”she paused, taking a deep breath, “Is Juvia’s ex-boyfriend. His name is-“

“Lyon?!” 

His hair was wrong, like almost everyone else’s. It was a light color, but very distinctly blond instead of silver. He was wearing that same cocky grin and sitting at a table with uneaten food in front of him. The photograph looked like it had been taken in a restaurant by the person across from him. 

_On a date with Juvia perhaps?_

It was not jealousy that uncurled in Gray’s gut, but a familiar feeling of family and home that even another lifetime could not swallow up. 

He never thought he’d find _Juvia_ let alone Lyon! 

“That’s my brother,” Gray grabbed the photo from Juvia’s hands, drinking in the detail of the face that was strange to him, but so very familiar. “Juvia. How- _Why_ are you showing me these?” 

Juvia looked away, silently laying the photographs on the floor next to her. “Because,” she finally said, “I had to be sure.” 

“What?!” 

“Do-does Gray-sama want to meet Juvia’s friends?” 

This was only the second time Gray had seen Juvia with the sun not set yet. Though he was unsure if the first time counted since he was so sick.

This time, the sun peeked from the thick clouds like a memory of a memory, dousing Juvia in golden morning light. This was the first time he had sat next to her on the subway, rather than on the floor or in a diner booth. This was the first time he had watched morning light kiss her face. This was the first time he saw her smiling so much, chattering happily to him.

He hoped to whatever God was listening that it was not the last. 

“Juvia thinks you will love her friends. She knows they will love you! They have heard a lot about Gray!” 

“Only good things I hope,” he muttered. 

“Indeed! The best things about Gray-sa-“

“Juvia,” Gray sighed, “Please don’t call me that.” She had kept slipping up, but it hurt to chastise her too often. 

“Oops!,” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “Juvia apologizes!” 

They sat in silence for a moment, only the sound of the lurching metal deathtrap between them. The little electronic voice on the train announced the stop. Their stop. 

Juvia slipped her hand in his as they exited the train and did not let go as the navigated the crowded subway tunnel and then emerged onto the surface. 

“Juvia, why are you holding my hand?” 

She stopped in her tracks, blinking at their entwined fingers. It was such a tender gesture that she regarded with a look or intense wonder, it made Gray’s stomach flip. 

“Juvia does not want to lose her Gray in the crowd.” 

He was half tempted to pull away. Instead, he gripped her hand tighter and blushing furiously, he pulled her forward. 

The meeting place was at the college in an older student union building that most pupils did not venture to. The building was tucked behind the east library (which contained three encyclopedias and a Martha Stewart cookbook) under a cover of dense trees. It was private and perfect for a scandalous rendezvous. 

Or meeting the girl you loved friends. 

Juvia insisted he cover his eyes before they entered. Gray insisted that that idea was silly and he would trip. She relented. Leading him through the door and into the room by his hand. 

The first thing that hit him was the familiarity of it all. 

The group all sat around a table, laughing loudly and chattering. The brunette (who’s hair should be pink) was laughing the loudest and had the table in his hands, as if about to flip it. On the other side of the table was the dark-haired man from Juvia’s photographs (obviously her Gajeel), glaring daggers at Natsu. 

Next to Gajeel was an extremely short woman who was built in all chubby round angles and wore a flower clip on her headband and bright red glasses. She had him by his arm, though she did not seem to be doing much to stop his fury. 

“Stupid! Idiot!,”she said, pulling at him to sit back down. “He is just trying to pick a fight!” 

“Let me go, Shrimp. I gotta punch this asshole in the face.” 

“Come and do it, metal-face,” Natsu growled, smiling with teeth that looked too sharp to be real. 

The blond woman sitting next to him huffed. “You are going to get us kicked out of the building. Again!” Gray recognized her instantly as the blond that Juvia had nicknamed _Lucy_.

_Where is Lyon?_

“Gray? Is that Gray?” 

He snapped to attention, his eyes focusing on the brunette suddenly eye to eye with him. Natsu was always around his height and this lifetime was no exception. Though the burn scar that extended from his former guild-mate’s face and down past his neck was new. 

“Is that really the stripper?” Natsu cocked his head to the side as he spoke, torn between what appeared to be confusion and his natural impulse to pick a fight. 

“Juvia believes so,yes.” Gray had almost forgotten his azure-haired companion until she spoke. 

“He looks a bit skinny,” Natsu sneered, poking Gray in the chest with one finger. 

“Hey! You wanna get punched, flame-breath,” Gray snapped. 

Suddenly, Natsu broke out into a bright grin. “Gray, it really is you.” Without warning, the former mage brought him into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you,man.” 

“Wha-,” Gray let out a cry as Lucy piled on top of him too. 

“Erza would be so happy. I will need to video chat her! Do you have a laptop,Gray?,” she said, squeezing him tight around the neck. 

Natsu laughed, releasing Gray. “Team Natsu is almost complete!” 

Lucy shared a knowing smile with her flame-brained companion. A smile that said _finally_.

An ache in his chest reminded him that this is not real. _These aren’t his comrades. Just imposters._ “So, you’re Gray,” Gajeel was towering over him like usual, all muscles, metal and wild hair. 

“Y-yeah…?” He observed that Gajeel looked a bit taller in this lifetime. 

“Don’t make Juvia cry, okay?” 

Behind the scowling man was his tiny companion. Gray immediately recognized her as Levy,even if her hair was auburn instead of blue. She caught his eye and threw up a hand in a wave. “Long time no see, Gray!” 

“Hey Levy,”he mimicked her gesture, waving at her. 

_This isn’t right_

“If only everyone was here,” Lucy, sighed, sitting back down in her chair at the table, “Then it would feel like home again.” 

_Home. These are not…his comrades. Right? Just nicknames and pretending?_

“Juvia believes we will find everyone soon,” Juvia murmured, gazing up at Gray like he was the sun itself. “Then Fairy Tail will be back together.” There was a round of cheers, mostly from Natsu at those words. 

_But its not real. Not really her. Not his Juvia. But he loved her. He loved her even if she is a fake._

“I need to go,” Gray blurted out as the excited chatter reached a crescendo. 

He did not wait for a response, ignoring the shocked look on Juvia’s face and the confusion on Natsu’s. Gray just ran. As soon as he left the crowded room behind him, he took off at a sprint. He ignored the familiar voice yelling his name or the ache in his heart and ran. 

His legs carried him away from the university and all the way to a park. It was the park, Gray noticed, that he had Juvia had passed time in one night. That was the night she was hesitant to sit because of the rain on the bench he presently stood on front of. 

Though the bench was quite dry, the rolling bangs of thunder ringing across the city made it plain it would not be for long. 

Numbly, he sat down on the bench. 

The look on Juvia’s face when he had fled flashed across his mind like the lightning in the sky. She had obviously been shocked and hurt. It was plain that he meeting her friends had been something special she had planned for him. 

_And I ruined it._

Gray covered his face with his hands, seeking solace in the darkness. 

There was Juvia’s face again. 

He groaned. This time, Gray felt like he had really fucked up. 

_What if Juvia won’t forgive me?_ The thought made him cringe inward. But he probably deserved it. He let her die. He deserved a lonely Hell. He- “Gray!” The face that kept flashing in his head, came to a stop in front of him. “Gray,” she breathed trying to catch her breath. Juvia looked like she had run the entire way after him. “What’s wrong?! What did Juvia do?” “Nothing I mean-,” Gray adverted his gaze. He could not meet those tear blue eyes without his chest clenching painfully, without him wanting to hold her and never let go. “It was overwhelming to meet everyone. Is this just a game to you guys? Pretend play? Am I even the right ‘Gray’? “Does it matter whether Gray is Gray or Gray-sama?” She took in a deep breath, sitting down on the bench next to him. They were close enough to touch, legs brushing against one another. Heat rose to his cheeks as he thought about what it would feel like to touch and bring her close. “Juvia loves Gray or Gray-sama. Juvia’s friends will feel the same way. Though they think Gray is Gray-sama, just like Juvia does.” _I love her too..I think._ “Juvia?” _Or do I love who I think she is?_ In the afternoon light, grey and drab Gray could see Juvia’s lip quiver as she met his eyes. “Yes, Gray?” 

He tore his eyes from her pink lips, meeting her eyes. “I think I love you.” 

“Think?” Juvia stiffened, looking away. Above them, a few rain drop fell, but neither of them looked up.“ Juvia thinks…you remind Juvia of something she feels like she should remember.” She drew in a shaky breath, shuddering into Gray’s side. He moved like she was a wild animal to put his arm around her shoulder and bring her in close. “Something Juvia should never have forgotten.” 

Gray was silent, watching as a tear fell down Juvia’s pale cheek. 

“And it hurts so much Juvia feels like a hole has been punched in her.” 

The words brought a vision of blood on dark blue fabric and pale skin as Gray flinched. 

Juvia sniffled, pressing her face against his chest. “Juvia dreams about Gray. Not just _Gray-sama._ Oh.. That is embarrassing to say. But Ju-Juvia _does_ and it is absolutely atrocious. Juvia dreams of your fa-face above her’s cr-crying. The sky is black with smoke and fire and-“. She took a shuddering breath, her beautiful face breaking like a porcelain doll at the memories flooding through her. 

Gray tightened his grip on her shoulders, as if she would float away out of his life if he let go. 

“Juvia has happy dreams too,” she whispered, voice raspy with tears. “She dreams of Gray smiling at her, but the face isn’t right. Gray-sama is different. He still had sad eyes and dark hair but things are different.” 

The rain picked up, falling on the couple like a cold shower to drench them through their clothes. “If everything is different,” she paused, giving him a pitiful look. “How will Juvia know if Gray is _her_ Gray-sama?” 

“Juvia.” 

“Everyone, all of Juvia’s friends think Gray is Gray-sama. But how will Juvia know? It is fine though. If Gray is not Gray-sama that is okay! Juvia misses Gray-sama like a hole in her heart, but this Gray is so nice and kind and she actually loves him as much as she loved Gray-sama. Maybe Juvia can be okay in this lifetime without her Gray-sama.” 

“ _Juvia._ ,” he pleaded, voice filled with something Juvia could not place for a moment. However, once her eyes met his misty ones she knew what it was. 

_Love_.

“Juvia wonders if Gray thinks or knows he loves her.” 

Gray let out a breath, replacing it on his lips with Juvia’s own. He press himself against her, quickly closing the cursed distance between them with a kiss. She stiffened, shock apparent in the way she weaved her tiny fists in the front of his soaked shirt and the gasp she let out against his mouth. 

When they parted, both of them were breathing heavier. She was speechless, looking at him from under fluttering eyelids like it was the first time she had truly seen him. 

“Gray.” 

“Juvia,” he let out a sigh, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against her’s. “I knew I loved you when I spent those years with you after Fairy Tail disbanded.” Her eyes widened as he spoke, realization dawning on her face like the morning sun. ”I knew I loved you when I saw E.N.D. take you from me. And Juvia, when I saw you standing next to me under that stupid poster of our faces, I knew I loved you.” Gray pulled back away from her, staring into those clear blue eyes like the water she used to command. 

“Juvia. Please call me Gray-sama.” 

“Gr-Gray-sama.” 

“Juvia Lockser,” he whispered, bringing his hand up to cup her soft cheek. “I have had dreams about you. I remember you. I believe _am_ your Gray-sama and you’re my Juvia. Please give me the chance I don’t deserve.” 

“Gray-sama,” Juvia cried, pressing her tear-stained face into the crook of his neck. 

“And today I _know_ I love you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This was a lot of fun to right. This was mostly worked on in my spare time at work. This is by no means a professional product but thank you for reading anyway.
> 
> Comments and kudos are most appreciated.
> 
>  
> 
> [Recommended listening.](http://8tracks.com/generictripe/my-only-sunshine)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm very excited to write this fic. The update for this will be a bit sporadic,but it is my current main project.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are most appreciated.
> 
>  
> 
> [Recommended listening.](http://8tracks.com/generictripe/my-only-sunshine)


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